Hello. This is my fourth blog post for my English Composition class. This week we read Hills Like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway which featured examples of symbolism and dialogue. A theme that is shown in Hills like white elephants is not speaking what you truly think, and In my emotional scene I did exactly the opposite, save for explaining myself. Another theme in the short story is unhappiness/anxiety in a situation and I think that connects strongly to my scene.
I am what you could call a nervous driver, or maybe an inexperienced one. I passed my license test in February of this year with only two driving lessons of experience to back me up. Since then, I have not been behind the wheel once up until this passing weekend. I went to visit my family over the weekend in Boyertown because I don't get to see them often. I need to get more comfortable driving as I want to purchase a car soon and still feel uneasy behind the wheel. My cousins, Ariana and Kalle have been letting me drive around on our errands as a way of practice and I was doing great. “You’ve gotten so much better since the last time I’ve seen you” said Ariana. We were on our way to her husband's mother’s house to drop off her baby for the night as we were all going to have a sleepover. “Really?” I said surprised; I was not confident in myself what so ever, “I feel like I’m still super hesitant and unsure of myself. I definitely couldn't drive without someone in the car with me.” We pulled into the driveway and Ariana brought the baby inside as Kalle and I began talking. We got into a super serious discussion about something and my anxiety began to go through the roof because of what we were talking about. I was basically on the edge of having an anxiety attack when Ariana came back outside ready to go. I looked over, “I don’t want to drive home, I’m not feeling it.” “You’re going to drive, you need the practice. You’ll be fine, you drove perfectly on the way over here.” Ariana said dismissing my comment. “Okay, fine.” I replied, not wanting to explain how I was feeling. I could already feel myself getting more worked up by the second as I knew my brain was too scattered to even begin to focus on the road. I made the slowest three point turn I have ever seen in my existence then turned onto the road at the top speed of one mile per year. The second I turned onto the road I swear my nerves got so bad I couldn't even see straight; it was almost like my vision was blacking out. I slammed my foot on the brake and repeated myself, “I can’t do this, I can’t drive right now. I have to get out of the car.” Ariana looked at me like I was crazy, “You have to at least get out of the road so we can switch seats.” At that moment I just needed to park the car right there and get out but, my brain was going a mile a minute and had to listen to her. The second I took my foot off the brake, I realized my wheel was still turned; the car speed forward going on top of the curb and slammed into a mailbox. I couldn't even explain how I stopped the car I literally blacked out, it happened so fast. My entire body felt white-hot and the air was knocked out of my lungs. I was mortified, terrified and in the midst of some of the worst anxiety I have ever experienced. “Damn,” Ariana turned her head to face me laughing, “I didn’t think you literally meant you couldn't do it. I just thought you didn’t want to.” I scrambled out of the car, still in the midst of a panic attack; I thought I fucked up the entire front of her car, maybe smashed the headlight and popped the front bumper off. Only after getting out of the car did I realize I didn't even dent the car, only scratched the paint. This was my first ever “car accident” if you could even call it that and when I was behind the wheel it had felt entirely worse than what actually happened. “I am so so so so sorry!” I said almost a million times to Ariana who was outside with me and Kalle who was still in the backseat. In the end everything was fine. There was no damage to the car and the mailbox didn’t even completely get knocked over. It was easily put back into place. The worst part about it was that the neighbor was outside and saw me knock his mailbox over and Nick’s (Ariana’s Husband) sister watched the entire thing happen, which was embarrassing as hell. The neighbor was super cool and helped me put his mailbox back in place jokingly saying, “That was the slowest accident I”ve ever seen!” It was a happy ending to a terrifying experience but, I don't think I will get behind the wheel ever again until I have my own car.
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This is my third blog post in English Composition. In My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou), Margaret is working for a very rude and racist woman named Mrs. Cullian. She is constantly disgraced and has to put up with unnecessary comments and situations. I relate this back to my emotional scene because sometimes you have to be professional in a workplace and put aside your morals and what is right.
It was a regular day for me, working one of the best days of someone’s life. I've witnessed more wedding ceremonies and first dances than you could possibly imagine. I don’t even know if I would want one of my own at this point. Watching it over and over again almost makes it look fake and too planned out; each one is almost identical to the last apart from the color scheme. Everything was going smoothly, we had finished cocktail hour and moved on to serving the courses of dinner. I had just served the salad and pasta course with the rest of the banquet staff. We were now moving onto the difficult part: the main course. Since everyone gets something different it can be tedious to serve two hundred people in a timely manner. We must know the names of each person and what they ordered to ensure everyone gets their exact dish. If we make too many mistakes their won't be enough steak (for example) for the people who actually ordered it. We had gotten about halfway through serving dinner when I encountered a problem. A women I was serving had a problem with her dish because she was dairy free and at the time of ordering did not know this dish contained dairy. As I was discussing the alternative options we have for people with allergies I felt her husband begin to put his hand on my back. They couple was around forty five to fifty five years old and the husband looked like a major creep. I ignored him for the time being considering I'm used to people grabbing me for their attention. I was in the middle of a discussion and simultaneously trying to rush through this service so I could take my break. As we kept talking his hand slid down to my ass and he proceeded to grab my butt, hard. My entire body immediately flinched away from his grabby hands and I felt my blood begin to boil. Just to emphasize, he literally grabbed my ass in front of his wife while I was mid-discussion with her. I turned around and asked him what he could possibly be doing just for him to give me the most confused look I've ever seen on a man. I told him to never ever touch me again and if he would like my attention to use my name instead of touching me inappropriately. Both of them and the rest of their entire table looked at me like I was insane. I was feeling absolutely mortified for no good reason and red-hot angry. I stormed away from their table without giving either of them their dinner orders and approached both of my managers to tell them what happened. I was ready to explode, if I was anywhere else but this professional setting I would have slapped him right across his sorry-looking face. Hello! This is my second blog assignment. For this assignment, I looked at three different readings with three different authors and picked three quotes from each. I then incorporated them into my creative scene about the writing process. I struggled to get started on this assignment as I don't write dialogue well and creative writing is not for me but, I am proud of the way it turned out. If you would like to read any of the passages I have linked them below:
Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) Against Vanity: In Praise of Revision (Mary Karr) Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life | pp. 28 -34 | Short Assignments & Shitty First Drafts (Anne Lamott) I’ve always had a horrible habit of getting things done at the last second, especially things I’m not looking forward to doing. This is why I found myself walking into the library at almost midnight. Did you know libraries were open this late? I didn't. I was expecting it to be empty considering the time but, almost all the tables were full. I guess everyone had the same mindset as I did. I decided to sit at the last seat available; there were already three others sitting there but, I decided I was in the mood to make friends. As I approached the table I began to realize it was my lucky day, Don Murray, Mary Karr, and Anne Lamott were sitting at the table. I quickly stole the seat not wanting to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity and introduced myself. They were delighted to have a college student working on the writing process join them. They said I had much to learn. I started off our conversation by explaining to them how I feel about writing. I told them I always struggle with starting my work and can not seem to start anything without someone’s help. Anne cut me off by saying, “Very few writers really know what they are doing until they’re done it.” I nodded my head even though I was still lost. Mary and Don agreed, discussing how it’s best to get all your ideas onto the page even if you don’t end up using them later. “The idea is to get some scenes down. Let your mind roam down some alleys that may lay in dead ends- that's the nature of the process.” Mary explained. I was starting to develop more of an understanding for writing. “I feel like everything I write needs to be perfect,” I said. “It causes a lot of my struggles.” Anne then stated “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts.” Don nodded his head, “Don’t look back, yes the draft needs fixing but, first it needs writing.” Mary seemed to have the same opinion as well saying, “Other than a few instances of good luck, good work only comes from revision.” They were right I have always thought my first piece had to be the one and only. “I just feel like I am not cut out to be a writer.” I mumbled, “Writing just isn't for me.” Don vigorously shook his head no, “Writing is primarily not a matter of talent, of dedication, of vision, of vocabulary, of style, but simply a matter of sitting. The writer is a person who writes.” I shrugged my shoulders and nodded, “Maybe you’re right, I just had the wrong mindset this entire time.” Anne looked up from her book, “All I know is that the process is pretty much the same for everyone I know.” After that she bid her goodbyes and left. After realizing the time and noticing that I had been talking more than working I decided I needed to get home. Before I left each of them left me with parting advice. Don told me, “Be patient, listen quietly, the writing will come. The voice of the writing will tell you what to do. I smiled, “Thank you for everything.” Mary reminds me one last time, “In the beginning when there are zero pages, you have to cheer yourself into cranking stuff out even if it later lands on the cutting room floor.” On that note, with the finale piece of advice still lingering in my head I said my goodbyes and walked off into a greater path of writing. Hi. This is my first blog post and will possibly be my favorite one as well. Our First assignment in English Composition was to answer The Proust Questionnaire and to read Marcel Proust Biography. It is a thirty five questioned piece written by Marcel Proust. He believed that by filling out this questionnaire ones true personality would rise to the surface. I enjoyed this assignment and found it quite challenging to answer them myself. If you or a friend would like to answer these questions yourself, I suggest checking it out. You may find out something new about each other.
__1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness? My idea of perfect happiness is having a financially stable, healthy family with someone I love and to have someone by my side who treats my struggles as their own. To wake up everyday feeling excited for what’s to come. __2.__What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear is to be alone, or not knowing if the work I do now will pay off in the future. I am scared I am always making the wrong choice or not doing enough for myself. __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? The thing I hate about myself the most is my anger towards anyone and everything. I hate my jealousy towards people who have things that I don’t. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? I dislike people blind to their own actions and people who feel entitled to things/think their problems are superior to others. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? I do not admire particular people in the world, but I do admire people who work hard and manage to keep a smile on their face everyday. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? I don't really have any. The most money I've ever spent was to go to community college; sitting in class is my greatest extravagance. __7.__What is your current state of mind? My current state of mind is a jumbled mess. I can't find anything in there. __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I don't think any of them are overrated. I think all of them are necessary; maybe they do not need to be stressed as much as they are. I think “patience is a virtue” is ingrained into my memory for the rest of time. __9.__On what occasion do you lie? I lie to people when I think it will protect them or when I do not feel like continuing the conversation. I find myself lying more than I would like to recently. __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? My weight. I would like to gain a few pounds and not look like a spaghetti string! __11.__Which living person do you most despise? I dislike everyone an equal amount. None of them get special VIP HATE. I like to say I don't hate anyone but I am an angry person and have trouble letting things go. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? The qualities I like most in a man are maturity and humor. I can not handle someone who is going to argue with me over small things that have no lasting impact. I need someone to be able to put a smile on my face no matter how bad my day was. __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Intelligence and confidence. I like girls who aren't worried about anyone else and have their own agenda. __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? I say dude to everyone. I think I call my own grandmother dude sometimes; it's a horribly unprofessional habit that comes out when I am excited. __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? My boyfriend, I still get butterflies in my stomach every time I see him. It’s really corny. I also love Hot Chocolate, best drink ever created. __16.__When and where were you happiest? I am happiest with my boyfriend and friends. I love spending time with them. I can't think of a particular time I was happiest because I like to think I get just as happy every time seeing them. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? If I could have any talent it would be piano playing and knowing how to read music I want to be able to play almost any piece of music out there. I took piano lessons for two years. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? If I could change one thing about myself it would be my anxiety. I wish it did not exist! It holds me back from doing things and I think it changes who I am and how others perceive me. __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? Probably graduating high school, if you consider that an achievement and not an obligation these days. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? I would want to be reincarnated into a person that would win the power-ball at 18. I want to know what it’s like to have more money than you can fathom. __21.__Where would you most like to live? By a beach that never gets tsunamis because that's my second greatest fear. No state in particular, I am pretty indecisive. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? My cell phone, My photo albums, A few pieces of jewelry given to me by my grandparents. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Losing a loved one. Not wanting to live/Feeling like you have no place in this world. __24.__What is your favorite occupation? Baking. I say this based off of the twenty six food network shows I watch; If I could open up my own bakery and live forever off of the profits, I probably would do that. __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? I asked my friends. One of them said my brutal honesty. The other said my cheekbones. I would not know how to answer that question myself. I think of myself as a different person than from how other people view me. __26.__What do you most value in your friends? Support. I like friends who are interested in my life just as much as they are interested in talking about their own. I also value honesty in my friends. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? I do an excessive amount of reading and I don't happen to have any favorite writers. I was an insane Harry Potter fan as a kid with posters littering my walls. I also adored the Gone series by Micheal Grant as a kid. __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? Harry Potter. Like I said, huge fan. Harry Potter is the hero of the ENTIRE wizarding world. __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? Marilyn Monroe, she was a bad bitch. __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? My grandmother. She is the strongest person alive, in the entire universe. I owe her my entire life and nothing less. She took me in and has raised my brother and I for the past 12 years. __31.__What are your favorite names? My favorite Boy names are Christopher and Mason. My favorite girl name is my own name or Elliot. Is that self-centered? I’ve just never heard anyone with the same name. __32.__What is it that you most dislike? Sauerkraut. Do you know what that is? It's the most disgusting thing ever created. __33.__What is your greatest regret? My biggest regret is not continuing my piano lessons. If I continued them throughout my childhood I would basically be a piano prodigy at this point, just saying. __34.__How would you like to die? I would like to die painlessly. __35.__What is your motto? I don't have a motto, if I had to think of one off the top of my head it would be: If I did it yesterday, I can do it today. |
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